Kidnapped by the Mafia
by Misao2008
Summary: AU crackfic. The Akatsuki is a criminal gang, Madara is the Mafia boss, Sakura, Hinata, Tenten and Ino are normal girls who happened to get mixed up with this, what will come of this situation? Read to find out. MadaSaku but will be DeiHina and morelater
1. Enter Sakura

Alright, here I go, I wasn't gonna start this just yet cause there are quite a few details I've yet to plan out, but hell with it, I've been wanting to write this for a week now, and no lack of planning is gonna stop me.

Also, this is a total crackfic, expect OOCness and probably a lot of inaccurate details about the jobs I've given them xD. And since I discovered that I suck at writing out of POV style. Expect the POV to fly all over xD. Since theres gonna be like…as many crack pairings as I can get in here. Some notable ones with be the main MadaSaku, definite DeiHina, and possibly KisaTen and HidaTema or HidaIno, not sure which I like better. The only not crack pairing in here is gonna be PeinKonan, which is my favorite not crack pairing for no reason whatsoever :D also, I've altered there ages a bit here. Cause you know this is a real worldish AU and we can't have 100+ year old immortals all over, or 91 year old people who steal others hearts xD.

In this fic the important characters ages are as follows.

Madara:24

Deidara:19

Kisame:25

Hidan:22

Konan:32

Pein:33

Sasori:23

Kakuzu:36

Itachi:21

Sakura:18

Ino:17

Hinata:16

Temari:20

Tenten:19

Anyway enough of my super long rant, on with the fic.

And btw, I keep forgetting this, but I obviously do not own naruto, if I did, the Akatsuki would take over the world, all of them would be alive still, Sasuke would go blind forever, the sound 5, Kimimaro, Haku and Zabuza would be revived forever, and Madara would be there leader, also, all crack pairings would be Canon, and Konoha would go to the dark side 8D. Ok now I'm seriously ending the rant.

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><p>Sakura's POV.<p>

I sighed as I walked out of the hospital, life was so damn boring lately. Sure I was GOOD at my job, but taking care of sick people every day, it got old, fast. And I was sick and tired of it. On top of that, there were all these rumors going around about how the mafia leader was up to something big, and people were going missing. And on top of THAT, my best friend, Ino, had gone missing a freaking week ago. Seriously, I swear to god if I see any of the mafia leader or his gang I'm gonna kick there asses just to vent my frustration. I kicked the tire of a nearby car, and proceeded to cursing aloud at no-one in particular.

"Hey you little shit, that was my fucking car!" A silver haired man walked out from a nearby ally. "The fuck do you think your fucking doing!" He cursed at me profusely.

I swear to god this guy was either drunk, or insane, probably drunk, cause he was swaying back and forth while abusing the f word as much as he could. I decided to not even bother, I apologized, then walked away. Or tried to at least. I felt a hand on my shoulder, and before I knew it, the man had a knife to my throat. Oh fucking joy, I was probably gonna be kidnapped raped then murdered like you see on the news all the time. So much for kicking the ass of the mafia leader, I couldn't even beat some drunk old man. Or young man…I honestly had no idea. Who the hell had pure silver hair anyway? Then again, who was I to talk, I had pink hair for gods sake. PINK. And it was natural too, a fact I conceiled from the world so as to not be thought of as a freak. Leaving my inner rant, I realized he had picked me up and hurled me into the backseat of his car. With no restraints either, did he think I was just gonna sit there and take it? I tried to open the door, but they were locked, and there was no function to unlock them from the backseat…

"Heh, you little bitch, sorry to say the only way your getting out of here is if you get through me. And that's not gonna fucking happen anytime soon. So just sit there and be a good brat will ya."

Utterly defeated no matter how I looked at it, I just gave him the most fearsome death glare I could muster, and kept at it the entire time he was driving. It seemed to annoy him as he constantly told me to "Fucking stop staring you fucking bitch!" Hell, if I was gonna be murdered, why not make his life as bad as I can in the mean time?

After about an hour, he finally pulled into the gates of a large ominous house, scratch that, it was a mansion, out in the middle of the mountains. I gotta say, I was NOT expecting to be brought to a fucking mansion. I simply stared in awe of it when he let me out of the 'fucking' car, as he put it.

"Quite fucking staring you bitch, your as good as mine now so you'd better fucking listen to me!" the silver haired man shouted.

I ignored him though, my mind set on making him as inconvenienced as possible if I was gonna die. I ran, toward the house, anything to get away from him, I was assuming that the inside would be a good place to hide from him somewhere, as I didn't have the stamina to outrun this man in a drug out chase through the nearby mountains. Nor did I know the area as he most likely did. I barged in the front door with the man hot on my tail, I quickly assessed the interior, it was quite spacious, a large staircase ran up the middle, presumable to the second floor, and there were several doors along each wall. I took for the stairs, I was used to running up stairs from all the crap the hospital job had me doing, and I was pretty quick on my feet. I had gotten to a large corridor, there was a huge hallway, bigger then anything I'd ever seen, not stopping to admire the well made building, I rushed down the hallway until I came to a row of doors. I could hear the silver haired man cursing not far off, I had to hide now or I'd be running all night, I picked one of the doors and quietly entered. Noticing that the room I'd entered also had a small closet, I carefully crawled into the corner of it. Hoping that even if he got in here, he'd not be able to see me in the closet, and leave. I waited for several minutes before the sound of his cursing faded, I guess I'd got lucky, he didn't notice I'd come in here. I slowly crept out, and peeked out of the door. The coast seemed clear, maybe I could actually survive this after all. I carefully opened the door and took small steps out. I thought I was in the clear, when I felt a hand on my shoulder, crap, I'd been caught? But I coulda sworn the man had gone the other way, he didn't seem intelligent enough for this kinda trap. I started panicking, but I then realized that the only thing this hand had done, was firmly keeping me there. Nothing more, nothing less.

"HIDAN. WHO IS THIS AND WHY DID YOU BRING SOME RANDOM GIRL HERE IN THE FIRST PLACE!" the man, who I know realized was not the one who kidnapped me, yelled at the top of his lungs. He was an interesting looking man too, no less weird then the last, he had bright orange hair, and so many piercings. I wanted to ask him if it hurt to get them, but figured that this was not a good time for that. Within a few moments, the silver haired man, Hidan I assume, came running around the corner.

"So there you are you little shit! What the fuck do you think you're doing running from me you damn brat, I'm gonna fucking ki-" He suddenly stopped, and just stared at the man behind me. I looked up to see why and found that the orange haired man was death glaring at Hidan, and, I'll just say, if glaring at someone could kill them, Hidan would be dead now.

"I did not give you permission to bring someone here, and I don't care what you were going to do with her, your not doing anything now. And also, you shall be punished accordingly for your moronic deed." the orange haired man said in a calm yet demanding manner. At this, Hidan left, cursing all the while. "So miss, would you please explain the events leading to you having been brought here?" he put me down.

I was still in mild shock after that, but he didn't seem to mind my delayed reply. "Um…well I was, kinda pissed off and, I kicked a random cars tire. Then that man, Hidan I presume? Came out of nowhere cursing at me, and when I tried to leave, he had a knife to my throat and proceeded to throwing me in the backseat of his car." I paused for a moment, wondering if I should tell him any more. Or if that was unnecessary. "And um, as for how I got to this spot, I just took of running when he let me out, and I thought that he'd not notice if I hid in a room, he doesn't seem to be very smart." The man seemed to be in deep thought, as he didn't say anything or move for the next few minutes. I decided however that he did not seem to be threatening, and that it was for the best to stay with him for now. Anything is better then Hidan.

"Alright…we can't simply kill you, you were not a target and are a completely innocent civilian, however…" He hesitated. "We cannot just let you go either, you know to much already, about our existence, and about the bases location. I will have to speak with Konan about you, please come with me." I nodded, and followed him down the corridor.

It seemed like we'd been walking forever when we finally stopped at a huge door, he knocked on it, and a beautiful woman with long blue hair fastened in a bun came out to great us, or him, she seemed mildy shocked by my being there. She seemed to be the most normal one around here so far. Aside the lip piercing and the light blue hair at least. She invited us in the room. Where I sat and listened to their conversation.

"So…I assume that this is Hidan's fault?" Konan sighed.

"mmm, He's gone out drunk again and kidnapped some poor kid." the orange haired man replied, face palming.

"H-hey I'm not a kid!" I suddenly found myself saying. "I-I'm 18 you know!" I shouted stubbornly. they both started staring at me, then laughed.

"I think I like her guts. She DID cause Hidan a lot of grief, that's not something just anyone Can do, and look at her now, she's not afraid of us at all." Konan said looking at me with a slight grin. "I think we should let her stay here for a while." Pein nodded.

I just sat there staring at them like they were insane or something.

"I'm really sorry," Konan said after a long moment of silence, "But, we can't let you leave here alive…"

I guess that was reasonably enough, This was probably some high up criminal base. How would they know I'd not go to the police and get them all arrested? "um…so how long do I have to stay here? What about my job, my expenses and my house. If I'm gone for to long I'll loose everything!" I really didn't mind my job, nor the fact that I'd probably not have to pay any more bills since I was in their house now…er..base. But I was not keen on loosing all of my stuff.

"Hmm…" The orange hair man started. "Tell us where your house is, we can have someone escort you there and back to get anything you would like to have with you here, please keep in mind that if you try and escape at any time you will be brought back immediately regardless of whether you have what you need or not." I nodded, he always spoke calmly, he seemed to be a natural leader, and for some reason I felt safe around these two. Hopefully I'd not have to deal with Hidan to much here…and I wondered who was going to escort me, but the fact was I was being allowed to live, which was less then I'd expected an hour previous. I'd just have to wait and see who my escort was and pray to god it wasn't Hidan. Hell, at least this life might be a bit more fun then my usual one. The only thing I'd really hate was leaving my other 2 good friends, Hinata and Tenten, behind without a clue as to what happened to me…

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><p>Alright, that was fun. I'm probably gonna spam this fanfic now because its an easy one with less worries to do with it for the time being xD. And cause theres more characters thus more action.<p>

And Lol Hidan is soooo funn to portray. I'm starting to think that I'm going more toward HidaIno with this. I think I'd be able to portray it better then HidaTema cause I dunno if I can portray temari's personality very well. I'm gonna shut up now and go to bed. Please review though xD I'd like to know what you all think of this epic crackfic. And if you have any idea's that would make it more cracktastic feel free to tell me.


	2. The Escort and Final Goodbyes

Yay chapter 2~ -insert maniacal laughter here- I really should be workin on my Deihinas but meh, this is just toooo funnnn. And just so you all know, it will be several chapters before all the characters are introduced, this is probably gonna be a super long epic crackfic xD.

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><p>Sasori's POV.<p>

I walked down the long hallway, I was somewhat pissed off, I'd been woken up at 2am, and I was feeling quite shitty. Apparently, Hidan had screwed up again and gone of drunk, and I had to help his victim get some of her belongings. I was pretty curious as to how this person had managed to escape Hidan and get on leaders good side, but still. It was 2 fucking am and I wanted to sleep.

After walking for about 5 minutes, I finally arrived at the room she was being kept at. I opened the door. "alright missy I shall be your escort, however there are a few things you should know about me first and rules you must obey or I'll drag you back here by force." I paused, she just stared, seeming to be listening carefully. "First, I hate waiting, so don't go lazing about, you're to go in, get what you need, and get out. Second, I'm freaking tired and I want to go to bed, if you cause me trouble I'll have you tied to a wall somewhere for the next day. Is that understood?"

"Yes sir!" she replied almost eagerly while putting her hand to her forhead soldier style. Ok, yeah, now I know why Hidan was so pissed of earlier. She definitely had it in her.

"Ok then, come on, I'll lead you to the car missy."

"Sakura Haruno." she crossed her arms.

"Hmm?"

"My name duh! Stop calling me missy!" She said stubbornly.

"Whatever, don't stall me, you can say that while walking, Sakura-san." She seemed to be a bit shocked at the -san, I guess since her first judgment of us was Hidan, she probably though we were all irrational thugs out to kill everyone. I sighed, even if Hidan was good for silencing any other gangs who got info on us, surely there was someone better who could take his position. I'd be a lot more peaceful around here if he was gone, but that wasn't gonna happen. At this point we'd gotten to my car, I opened the passenger seat and let her in. then got in the drivers seat and started the engine, she was looking around seemingly in awe at the vehicle. "What's up with you, you act like you've never seen a car before." I pulled out of the garage.

"Oh, no, of course I have, I have my own car you know, mines just well, a small cheap used one. This car here is …awesome to say the least."

"I see, I guess it does have a few add-ons that normal cars don't. anyway it's not going to take to long to get to your house, so you should start thinking of what you're gonna take." She looked surprised.

"Eh? But it took at least an hour to get here from my workplace, which is near my house, when Hidan took me!"

"Oh…well, as you may know, he was drunk, he probably went in circles for half an hour before the influence wore off enough for his measly brain to contemplate how to get home." I mentally face palmed at this. So not only was he drunk and kidnapped Sakura, he had driven her all over the place for over an hour. I guess I should be glad he didn't get pulled over by the police, or cause a major accident and kill Sakura. Though if he'd killed himself that'd have been nice.

"Oh yeah…I guess I should be glad I'm alive after that…So um…Mister…"

"Sasori, You haven't even been told our names yet?" I sighed again, I guess Pein and Konan had better things to do then give her a run down, but they could have at least told her a few names.

"Oh, no, I only know Konan and Hidan, cause the orange haired man with the peircings called them by their names." she paused. "He and Konan seemed to be pretty nice though…I was expecting you to all be vicious criminals or something." She laughed.

"I see, Well, The orange haired one with peircings is our leader, his name, or at least the name he goes by as only Konan knows his real name, is Pein. There are 10 members in total in our gang, and we go by the name 'Akatsuki' I can introduce you to them as you meet them, its…to hard to really explain them. Cause no one in out gang is really ..well, normal."

"You seem pretty normal, Sasori-san." She was grinning then proceeded to poking my arm.

"Haha, well, I have my odd points to, but yeah I'm one of the more normal in the group, along with Deidara, though he has that obsession with blowing stuff up."

"So this Deidara is another member huh?" she seemed to be incredibly curious, It was hard to believe this person had been kidnapped only a few hours prior, she seemed to be right at home.

"Yeah, he's my partner when we are assigned a task or mission to complete. I guess I can introduce you to him tomorrow…or the next day…depends on when we get home and how much sleep I get. Also, we'll be parking soon near your house. So I hope your ready, I'm giving you 30minutes to grab all the things you'll need, after that we leave, it's only a matter of time before someone notices your missing, and we can't risk being caught when the police come."

"Understood, I'll hurry."

Sakura's POV

I could hardly believe it, within the past 6 horus of my life, I'd been kidnapped, threatened, brought to a criminal base, and now I'm moving in to said base. I know I wished for a little bit more excitement but this was a bit overboard! He had parked on a back road near my house, and we had gone inside. I started to gather some important things, first thing's I went for were clothing, I wasn't gonna go around wearing the same clothing my entire stay. So I grabbed a few outfits and folded them into a suitcase, then a pair of shoes, and a few pieces of jewelry I really liked. Now onto some other necessary things. I headed to the bathroom, I got my toothbrush and toothpaste along with my shampoos and such. I put all this stuff in a bag and sat it near the front door with my suitcase. At this point I was running out of time. I only had 10minutes left before Sasori made me leave, so I made a quick sweep of the small house. I grabbed a few pictures, some small appliances I thought I may need, and lastly, I got all the money from my house and put it in my wallet. Ready to go with 4 minutes to spare. I headed out the door carrying several bags…which were quite heavy when combined. "S-Sasori-san, I'm ready." I stumbled along, having great difficulty moving with so many things. I didn't see Sasori though, maybe he left? Nah, they clearly stated to me I was to be captured or killed if I left at this time. So where did he- suddenly the weight on my back lightened. I heard a sigh.

"I said bring a few necessary things, not your entire house missy. But whatever, your early, so I'll help you carry some things to the car. Just throw it all in the trunk ok?"

I nodded happily. Sasori seemed to be a pretty kind person when he wasn't in a bad mood, if the rest of the Akatsuki were like him then this kidnapping may turn out to be a good thing. We made it back to the car within only a few minutes. And were headed back to the base. I stared back in the direction of my house as we drove off, it would be the last time I was to see it for what could be years…which is when I remembered something…

"Um, Sasori-san!"

"what? Did you forget something?" he seemed a bit annoyed.

"No but…can I ask…a favor?"

"What kind of favor?"

"Well…I don't really have any family I'm close to but…I have 2 close friends. Do you think I could send them a letter saying my goodbyes? I wont tell them anything about you guys of course, you can read the letters after I write them if you want."

He sighed again "I don't know, it's not my place to decide."

I frowned and looked at my lap, trying to hold back the tears. Sure leaving my old life wasn't to hard, but…the fact that I'd possibly never see my 2 friends again was really starting to sink in…it was then that I heard a cellphone being dialed.

"Hello? Pein? Listen I have a question to ask you."

"Um, no, she's still with me."

"No…I didn't get lost…"

"Its about Sakura"

"Who? You didn't even ask her name!"

"You know,t he pink haired girl I'm with…"

"yeah, anyway, we have all her belongings but, I wanted to ask if she was allowed to contact her friends in anyway before she leaves them for good"

"She was gonna write them a letter, she said she'd let me read it before droppign it off to them."

"Really? Alright I'll tell her, thanks, and bye."

He hung up, then looked at me. "alright, you're good to go, he says you can write one letter to each friend, it cannot have any details about what happened to you, but that you can tell them that you are still a live and well. You have 10 minutes to write the letters. Cause It's now 3am and I wanna sleep."

"Of course! Thank you so much Sasori!" I grinned, then pulled out some paper and a pen from my purse and began writing. It didn't take to long, I'd just said I was ok, and that I was sorry for disappearing, and due to certain circumstances I was unable to contact anyone for a while. I let Sasori read the letters, then told him where my friends houses were and he dropped them off in their mailboxes. Then we headed back to the base. What awaited me there was a totally new life. Filled with many new things and hardships for certain. But I was not going to be deterred. I was going to make it through this, and that was that.

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><p>Hmm, I hope I got Sasori's personality somewhat right. Next chapter Deidara is introduced. Along with Tobi, and you know what that means, it means that its time to start the crack-pairing fest. And obviously Tobi is Madara in my fic. I'm trying to keep as many details accurate as I can while maintaining the AU-ness. And once again please feel free to tell me if I failed anywhere or if you have any ideas you'd like me to include~ or just review if you think it's awesome, anything is fine.<p> 


	3. Tobi's Tour of the base part 1

Alright, so I got a weird review on this story. Saying mainly that mine might be similar to another. So I'll say this now: I have never read anything relating to the mafia. If my story is similar to another that's purely coincidental. The only reason the mafia is even related is because when I was coming up with ideas for this story my friend was like "You should make Madara the mafia leader." and I was all. LOL YES. It was decided last minute at random. I'm also sorry for the lack of updates lately, I got a new computer, and I've been doing all sorts of things that this laptop hasn't been able to do due to a failing graphics card, and I sorta got obsessed with 3D modeling sooo….Expect updates to come slowly, Im not giving up on any of my fanfics though. Also excuse typos, I don't have time to proofread.

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><p>Sakura's POV<p>

I woke up and yawned. Noticing that my room was far darker then usual. Oh yeah, I wasn't in my room, I was in the Akatsuki's hideout. I rubbed my eyes, remembering last night. Sasori had let me get the majority of my stuff, say goodbye to my best buds, then we came back and crashed cause it was like…almost 4am. What time was it anyway? I looked around for a clock. Ah, found it…11pm huh, I guess it figures I'd sleep in. I got out of bed, and went to dig through one of my bags for my clothes, I took out a t-shirt and some shorts and threw them on, then slowly opened the door to my room, I stuck my head out, scanning the area for any signs of Hidan.

"What are you doing there, un, you act like you expect to be ambushed."

I swear I jumped 3 feet in the air and shrieked before spinning around to face the source of the sound. He was a blond man, he looked pretty young too. "Um…You must be another one of the members Sasori mentioned."

"Yeah, un, I'm Deidara, Sasori was telling me all about you earlier, un, he said you were pretty interesting." He patted me in the back almost knocking me over "You know, it takes a lot to make Sasori think of anything aside his obsession interesting, un. Oh, and If you're the one who got Hidan forced into doing cleaning duties for a week, I have to thank you personally, that dude was seriously getting on my nerves with his constant complaining." He grinned.

I guess that maybe the Akatsuki wasn't so bad, aside Hidan, everyone seemed pretty nice. "Ah, yeah that damn badmouthed moron, he was so annoying, he kept abusing the f word and treating me like his property or something, he's seriously stupid though!" I laughed, "I mean, he totally ran right by when I hid in a room!" Deidara started laughing too at this.

"Haha, Sasori wasn't kidding. Not many around here have the guts to flat out badmouth Hidan while he's still in the hideout. You're new here right, un.? How 'bout I show you around, after we get something to eat that is. You missed breakfast, un, but I'm sure we could make something for you." He led me downstairs into the kitchen…it was…the biggest kitchen I had ever seen in person in my life. I just stood with my mouth agape at it. At which Deidara broke into a fit of laughter. "Aw c'mon, you're seriously surprised by this, un?" He laughed even harder. "This is a mansion kid, get used to it, and don't drool on the floor. Then again, yeah, do it, Hidan has to clean it anyway, un." his laugh turned a bit evil.

"Alright, alright, I get it, jeez, I'm sorry for not being used to living in a mansion, and don't call me kid, I'm 18!" I pushed him teasingly.

"Hehe, yeah, yeah, miss, I'm still a year older so don't get all high'n mighty, un." He pushed back. "Now are we gonna make lunch or not, un. Or can you not cook or something?"

"O-Of course I can cook idiot! I just don't know where anything is." I walked around the kitchen admiring the woodworking of the cabinets. I'd never seen a design like it.

"Sasori made those for us, un, pretty cool huh, un?"

"EH!" I twirled around and stared at Deidara in shock. "Sasori-san did?"

"Yeah, un, he's our carpenter more or less. Most of the woodwork in here is his doing. He also maintains the house for us, un."

"…" I guess this was one of those speechless moments, I was standing there with a shocked look on my face, unable to think of anything to say, to think a group like the Akatsuki would have such a talented carpenter. Suddenly my stomach growled. "U-Uh, yeah, I guess I'm hungry since I haven't eaten since yesterday morning…Um…do you have eggs?"

"Hehe, Yeah, there are some eggs in the fridge, though we need to get more soon, I guess this means a store trip…un." He sighed.

"ah, thanks Deidara-san." I opened the fridge and took out a few eggs. "Um…where are the pans?"

"Over here, un." he pointed to a cabinet.

"Ah, thank you again." I opened the large cabinet to find a wide assortment of pans. I shook my head, I could go all spacey every time I opened a door in this house. I took out a small frying pan and proceeded to making eggs. "Oh, Deidara-san, did you want some too?"

"Hmm? Nah I'm just gonna eat a sandwich, un."

"Hmmm, Why do you always say 'un' after everything?"

"Eh? Um…I guess it's a force of habit, un?" There was a moment of silence, "Does it bother you, un?"

"Oh, no, not really, I was just curious." I flipped the eggs onto my plate then went off to search for ketchup. "um…"

"The ketchup is in the closet, on the bottom shelf, un."

"Th-thanks." I felt kinda pathetic having to be told all this stuff. But at least Deidara was nice about it. I sat down at the table, and Deidara joined me with his sandwich. It was silent for several minutes while we ate. "Sooo…..are any of the other members here now? I'd like to meet the others too, unless there like Hidan that is."

"Hmm, Itachi and Kisame are out, I think Kakuzu is probably robbing a bank or something as I haven't seen him in days, and Zetsu never seems to be around, I think Tobi is gonna be here later though, un. But he's kinda…" He paused for a long moment. "Well, you'll have to meet him and see, un."

"Another weird one huh? Heh, I guess you're all weird in a way, but I'm surprised really! When I was brought here I was honestly expecting you all to be some kinda dumb thugs like the Yakuza or something."

"Meh, Hidan's gonna give us a bad rep at this rate…un." He face palmed.

I just laughed. "But it's ok, cause you guys are all really cool so far!" I poked Deidara's arm. He just laughed again, before rubbing my head. "Yeah, I think you're gonna fight right in, un."

Tobi's POV

I had finally arrived at the base, I opened the huge doors and ran in, it was nice to be able to move about after being crammed in a car for the past 5 hours… I had also heard that there was a new member staying here. I ran down the hallway searching for this mysterious new member. It wasn't to long before I found her either, chatting with Deidara in the kitchen. I barged through the doors and shouted. "SENPAIIIIII! Who's the pretty pink-haired lady with youuuuuuu!" I ran erraticly around the room. I had to admit it was pretty fun being able to act like a total moron and have nothing thought of it. Deidara just looked at me with his usual annoyed expression, while I got quite a hilarious reaction out of the pink haired one. She shrieked and fell over backwards, it took all my willpower to keep myself from breaking out into a laughing fit. "Ah! Tobi is sorry, Tobi didn't mean to scare you!" I ran over to her and helped her get up.

"Tobi? Oh…heheh, I see, so you're the one Deidara-san was talking about. That explains a lot."

Hmm, I wonder what Deidara had told her about me to get that reaction. "Senpai," I made sure to drag out the word so as to annoy Deidara as much as possible. It seemed to work since he put on his usual pissed of I'm-gonna-kill-you expression. "What did you tell pink lady about Tobi?"

"Tobi…" He said clenching his fist. "Someday I'm gonna kill you for annoying me, un…"

I just laughed and continued to annoy him.

"Um…Tobi?" The pink haired girl poked me.

"Hmm? What is it that miss-pink-hair wants from Tobi?" She clenched her fist and threw a punch at me, I dodged, to find that the poor wall behind me now had a hole in it. Note to self, don't piss her off in hitting range.

"Don't call me pink hair, My name is Sakura!" She shouted. "And it's not my fault I have pink hair, I would much rather it be brown or black or even blond is better then pink!"

"Eh! So Sakura-chan's hair is naturally pink! Amazing! If Sakura-chan stood next to Senpai, Sasori-san, Zetsu, Leader-san, and Konan-san then It would be an entire rainbow of hair!" I mentally sighed, it sometimes bothered me at the moronic things I came up with while being Tobi. Sakura just stared at me like I was insane. Which I very well may have been at that moment.

"So…" Deidara threw a punch at me, which I dodged quite easily. "Why are you here so early anyway eh, un?" He threw a box this time, which I caught. "You weren't supposed to get here for another 3 hours."

"Senpai, it's not good to throw food." I set the box on the counter then dodged another punch. "And Tobi doesn't know what you mean by early. Tobi headed to the base at 7am, Tobi should have been here hours ago." Deidara seemed to have calmed down by now, as he had stopped trying to hit me. "But…For some reason, Sasori-san's car kept breaking. Sasori-san kept cursing at Hidan for some reason. Tobi wonders why Sasori would curse at someone who wasn't there."

"Eh? So that's why I havent' seen Sasori-san yet. Wait a sec…" Sakura looked a bit shocked. "If he went to bed at 5am..then how did he get to wherever you were in time to head back at 7am?" She looked confused.

"Eh? Tobi didn't know Sasori-san went to bed so late! That explains why Sasori-san sounded so mad on the phone when I called him at 6..."

"Ah…I see. Poor Sasori-san."

"Anyway, Tobi thinks new member is pretty, Tobi will show Sakura-chan around the base!" I grabbed her arm, and ran out the door. I could hear Deidara cursing at me from the Kitchen.

Sakura's POV.

I was starting to think today would be a relatively normal day, boy was I wrong, I'd just been pulled out of the kitchen by my arm, and was now being pulled down the hallway as Tobi ran around. He didn't seem to be a bad person, but…this was a bit overboard. "Hey! That hurts my arm, stop pulling me around." I tried to pull away, but even with all my might, I only managed to make him stop running. Damn he had a good grip.

"Ah! Tobi is sorry, tobi didn't mean to hurt Sakura-chan!" He let go and waved his arms around.

"jeez, why are you so hyper. How old are you anyway?" I rubbed my arm.

"Tobi is Tobi!" If I could see his face through the weird mask he was wearing, I was willing to bet gold he was grinning like a retard. "And uhhh…Tobi's age is top secret classified information~!" He spun around in circles before tripping on his pants and falling over backwards. I couldn't help but laugh. "But, but! Tobi wants to show Sakura-chan around the base!" He got up and dusted off his clothes.

"Alright, though Deidara was going to do it, I guess I don't mind to much, just try not to drag me around by my arm." He nodded and jumped up and down happily. Seriously, how old WAS he? He acted like a little kid. I doubted he was though, he was probably at least in his older teens. Just another weirdo like the others, although he was somewhat amusing. At least he was nice.

"Ok, Ok, Sakura-chaaaan, Tobi will show tou to the main rooms and the other Akatsuki's rooms now!" He spun around a few tiems before walking down the hallway. "Sakura-chan, this waaaay."

"I'm coming, I'm coming, be patient, not everyone is as hyper active as you are." I walked down the hall behind him. He passed quite a few doorways before stopping at one to inform me that it was the 'cleaning supply closest' and that if I open it I should stand at least 5 foot from the door for my safety. I decided I would just never open that door. "So…we've passed a lot of doors and you've not told me about them, are they empty rooms or something?

"Ah, Tobi doesn't think Sakura-chan needs to know about those rooms, and some are empy."

"I see, yet the cleaning closet was important enough to tell me?"

"Ah! Tobi wanted to make sure Sakura-chan didn't hurt herself opening the door of evil!"

"…Door of evil? Oh whatever, on with the tour."

"Of course, this hallway just happens to be rather empty, the next one is were the bedrooms are. Tobi isn't sure if the others are ok with Tobi showing you their rooms, but Tobi doesn't particularly care, you might not wanna tell them though."

"Ah…thanks for the warning.." I was suddenly feeling a bit uneasy about this. Sure enough though, we turned the corner to a row of doors, each with a name sign on them. I could see Deidara's and Sasori's rooms near the end.

"This room here is Kakuzu's, Kakuzu isn't here right now, Tobi and Sakura-chan should go snoop around, he won't notice unless you take his money, because Kakuzu doesn't really care about things other then money." He opened the door slowly and after apparently finding it safe to enter, he opened it wide and ushered me in"

It was a relatively plain room, the only furnature in it was a bed, and a small cushioned chair sitting in front of a small TV. There were a few electronics laying about, but nothing to much. Perhaps the most noticeable thing was the several safes located around the room. With heavy locks on each one. I guess Tobi wasn't kidding when he said all Kakuzu cared about was money. "Hmm, Is it really ok to be in here though? You sure he won't notice and get mad?"

"Sakura-chan shouldn't worry, if Kakuzu notices then he'd suspect Tobi first, so Tobi would take all the blame for Sakura-chan." He spun around. "Lets go to the next room now, but you should stay back, Tobi needs to make sure no one is in it since Hidan is still somewhere in this building."

"H-Hidan, Um, I-I think I'm ok not seeing that, can't we skip it?"

"Ah, that's right, Hidan did mean things to you didn't he, but don't worry , Tobi won't let Hidan do anything to Sakura-chan. And Hidan's room is really cool!" he grabbed my shirt this time and pulled. I guess if he couldn't use my arm he'd go for the next best thing huh.

"Fine, Fine, but if he catches me you better keep him away."

"Don't worry, Tobi will protect Sakura-chan." He shouted, then proceeded to carefully approaching Hidan's door and cracking it open. He jumped back just in time to avoid a knife flying out, followed by a fit of cursing coming from the room. It was pretty easy to figure out that Hidan was indeed in his room.

"Tobi, What the fuck do you think you're doing you stupid son of a bitch, DON'T JUST COME IN MY ROOM AT LEAST FUCKING KNOCK FIRST DAMMIT." Hidan shouted, I took several steps back and prepared to hide in Kakuzu's room if he so much as looked at me wrong.

"Tobi thinks that Hidan yells to much, Hidan should shut up and behave.~" he said mockingly.

I was surprised that even Tobi had the nerve to mess with Hidan, let alone straight out mock him in person. I was honestly expecting Tobi to get the shit beat out of him at this point. But I was wrong. Tobi, being the hyperactive childish person he was, simply ran around irraticly while Hidan threw an assortment of sharp objects at him, before going back to his room and coming out with a red 3 bladed scythe and swinging it around at Tobi. All to no aveil as the hyperactive moron easily dodged every swing before landing his foot square on Hidan's face and sending him flying down the corridor. I just stared in awe.

"Eh, Sakura-chan, is something wrong?" he asked innocently.

"T…Tobi…you…you…" he tilted his head. "Just KO'd Hidan in a sinlge kick…I'm starting to doubt that you're the innocent hyperactive kid I thought you were…who are you really?"

"Tobi isn't a kid! And Tobi is Tobi!"

"then how old ARE you?" I tried to muster the most intimidating stare I could.

"T-Tobi wont tell…" he took a step backwards, for a moment I thought my glare was working, but he proved me wrong by running to Hidans room and shouting at me to look while he was still out cold.

I decided it wasn't worth even bothering, he was obviously not going to tell me anything, so I just went along with it.

"Sakura-chaaaaan, Hurry! Hidan will wake up soon!"

"Yeah, yeah, how many times do I have to tell you, have some patience will you." I approached Hidan's room cautiously, as if I expected something to come out and strangle me, no such thing happened though, h is room was actually quite different then I'd expected. Aside his enormous collection of various weapons, and the weird symbol painted on his wall, his room was fairly normal, the color scheme was black and white, and he had a lot more furniture then Kakuzu did. He had a large comfy looking bed in one end of the room, and the other was a large pillowy couch , which Tobi was currently crawling around on, in front of a widescreen TV with various game systems attached to it as well as a DVD player with a shelf full of horror movies. I also noticed a stash of magazines under his bed…I probably didn't need to know anymore about those though… "Tobi, whats with this symbol painted all over?"

"Oh that!" He got off the couch and walked over to me. "Hidan worships some kinda fake god of destruction or something, Tobi doesn't think there's such a god though, Tobi thinks Hidan is just stupid. That symbol is his gods symbol or something."

"Ah….that's somehow not surprising. Can we go to the next room now?"

"Of course, Hidan will probably wake up soon anyway. The next room is Kisame's, he's kinda weird though…"

" A weirdo calling someone else weird. Yup, makes total sense." I said jokingly, well, he WAS a weirdo but not in a particularly bad way. Just…hyper…very hyper…

"haha, very funny" he said, sounding slightly out of character…or at least the character he was letting me believe he was, As I got a definite feeling he was hiding something. "Anyway, this is Kisame's room." he swung the door open.

Kisame's room was definitely different, everything was a deep ocean blue color, he had a huge fish tank in the back with various ocean fish. fish printed bed sheets, and various fish-related things. His bed was low to the ground, it was a soft mattress with a frame to keep it from moving, there was a large beanbag looking object on on side of his room, it looked like it'd been used a lot, he also had a small TV in the corner with a DVD player and all sorts of DVD's about the ocean and sealife. He also had a table in the middle of his room, with some cards laying on it. I walked over to look at the fish, this room somehow felt a little safer then the other two did. I hadn't met either Kakuzu or Kisame yet though, so I wasn't going to bet anything by their rooms alone.

"Are you done looking yet?" I heard Tobi call from the hallway, he had apparently left while I was distracted by the fish.

"I guess, who's room is next?"

"Itachi's, his room is boring though."

Which meant it was normal most likely. Sure enough, He opened the door to a sight I never thought I'd see here, something normal. The color scheme was red, he had a small bed in one corner, with a computer desk set up in the other, a small TV, and a black couch that could fit about 3 people. Like Kisame, he also had a small table in the middle of the room, it had some cards on it, I could also see what looked like a tea set and a tea making machine on a shelf near his bed. Amusingly he had a few books on dango sitting on the table. I wonder if he liked dango?

"Sakura-chaaaaan, why do you seem so interested in this boring guys room!"

"It's because it's 'boring' that I like it, I never thought I'd see anything even remotely normal again. But I was wrong, What kind of person is Itachi?" I was praying that he'd be as normal as his room, though somehow doubting it.

"Hmm, Tobi thinks Itachi is a boring person…he's strong though, and smart, he hangs out with Kisame a lot too. Tobi thinks Sakura-chan should just wait to meet him, Itachi and Kisame should be back from their intel gathering mission in a few days."

I sighed. "True enough, I don't think anyone I've met so far could have their personality properly explained without meeting them…anyway, onto the next room." Tho I was wondering exatly what he menat by 'intel gathering mission' I decided not to even bother.

"Yay~" he spun around. :The next room is Deidara's, be careful what yoou touch in there, ut might be exolosive."

I wasn't even gonna ask. Which was ok, as it was pretty self explanatory the moment I walked in. The room was somewhat cluttered, yellow color scheme, with a large soft looking bed in one corner, a sofa near the middl with a widescreen TV in front of it, and a rack full of dvd's that seemed to be related to bombs or anime. The shelves were filled with clay sculptures, and also various papers that appeared to be blueprints for bombs, there were containers with gunpowder in the corner with metal and plastic pieces, and what appeared to be actual bombs sitting on a shelf above. There was also a table with a laptop on it near the corner with the gunpowder. "This is..interesting, so Deidara-san makes bombs?"

"Senpai is really good at making stuff explode! He often throws them at Tobi though, but that's not enough to kill Tobi!" he ran around Deidaras room, messing with things.

"Um…are you sure that's ok? Won the get mad if you mess with his stuff?"

"Of course, but its fun to make senpai mad." he said matter a factly.

"Alright…so..there should be 4 more rooms right?"

Hmm, only two, Tobi isn't allowed to show you leader-san and Konan-chans room. But Tobi can show you Tobi's room and Sasori-sans room." He ran to the hallway. "The next one is Sasori's, then Tobi's room, which does pink-hair-chan want to see first?"

"pink-hair,…" I threw a punch at him, but he dodged it easily. "How many times will I have to tell you, Don't call me Pink-hair-chan!" I yelled.

"Tobi is sorry!" he said half sarcastically, I got the feeling he just liked annoying people in general.

"Hnnnn…whatever, Ill look at Sasori's room first, Im kinda worried what awaits me in your room…"

"aww. Sasori's room is weirder then Tobi's anyway. " He opened the door and peeked in, probably checking to see if Sasori was in. "Hmm, Tobi thought for sure Sasori-san would be sleeping in his room after having slept so little" he opened the door.

Well. Tobi was right about it being weird, somewhat creepy even, aside the fact that Im sure all of his furniture was self made, he had various dolls and puppets laying about. I guess this was his hobby? His furniture and the puppets even were all very well made though, I wondered what this guy was doing in this gang, he could make millions with his skills. He had a bunk bed for some reason, perhaps one of the others often stayed in here? As well as a large desk with a computer, and a tool chest filled with every kind of tool imaginable. He also had many kinds of paints in the corner with various brushes, and finally in the middle of his room was a small table with cards.

"This is…kinda creepy…yet..cool, why is Sasori here when he has so much talent?""Tobi doesn't know why anyone joined, but everyone has a talent for something, so that could be said about everyone. Well, maybe not Hidan, he's here because he got into a lot of trouble after going on a drunken rampage."

"ah yes…Hidan…so its time to see your room now right? I guess Ill get it over with."

"Sakura-chan, why are you making it sound so horrible?"

"Because you're….you…and ….yeah, I can't really explain it to you."

"Fine, be that way!" he said, obviously faking anger. "Tobi won't show you…Hey wait! That's cheating!" He shouted when he noticed I'd already walked in his room. He then proceeded to running around me.

His room was actually more normal then I'd expected, he had a huge bed, and I mean huge, it was more like a giant cushion spanning about half the room. Why one would need such a large bed I had no idea. And on the other side of the room, there was a desk with a computer, I was surprised he even knew how to use one, then again, why should anything surprise me? He also had a tv, with several game systems, and a bunch of anime DVDs. I had the greatest urge to faceplant into his bed and see if it was as soft as it looked though….

"Sakura-chan, do you want to jump on Tobi's bed? It's fun, you should!" he said as I'd apparently been staring at the bed. He then proceeded to jumping on it and flopping around. I had to admit, it looks somewhat fun.

"…" suddenly my willpower broke, and I found myself rolling around on it with him. I swear his insanity was contagious, it was then I wondered if I'd stilll be sane when I finally got out of here. Probably not…

* * *

><p>Hopefully that chapter was ok, I don't know WHY I decided to describe all their rooms in detail, but it was fun imagining what kinda stuff they'd have in our world xD.<p>

Anyway, I decided after thinking about it for a long time, that Sasori shall be the groups carpenter and stuff, since that's about as close a job I could get to what he really does. In a real world AU we can't have living puppets now can we. Or life sized controllable ones. Deidara still makes bombs though 3 and on a side note, I honestly always wondered what was going on in Madara's head when he was acting like a moron as Tobi. But I still have no idea, I tried my best to get it right , but I'm not quite happy with it xD. And if your wondering about the Hidan thing, Hidan sabotaged Sasori's car xD.


End file.
